Let's try again
holy cow it has been such a long time, but i was kind of embarresed cuz my last blog, i was in a very strange place. It's been a pretty busy and eventful summer (some of it good) I was robbed at the bank, my grandpa passed away, my family sold their house (which is a good thing and now my mom and Perry are planning to build their own place and I got to go and see the property and it is just beautiful) My friend is getting married on the 26th and then I am going up to nelson for my mom's 50th birthday and then in sept. i am headed to chilliwack for anouther dear friends wedding and my best friend in the whole world is the maid of honour, and I can't wait to see both of them...... so that's about it.... but oh yeah I am also in the prosses of redifineing my working life so that I might be a little bit happier when doing so..... I'm keeping my head up and I want to send love out to all my friends who I have been thinking about a lot lately and I think I'll have to be making some calls in the near future. Chow (hee hee) for now!!
holy shit can I ramble on or what?
Why?
feeling so invisible that i'm not even sure that i exist any more. always on the verge of tears, putting makeup on for the purpose of not crying for fear of looking like a raccoon, what a weird saftey net. friendless and alone. life is not feeling very grand and i'm wondering what the point of it is. Why get up every morning? The question is plauging me, my heart pounds at the thought that this is how it is and it's never going to change for me. Heartbreaking. would anybody notice if I disappeared? The bank would be short a teller and thats about it. I guess i'm feeling insignificant and pointless. I think of people all the time, people i knew and loved in high school and i cant help but feel it is not returned. why would anybody think of me, i haven't done anything memorable. anyways, i gotta go help customers.
People are so bizarre
I guess that means that i am too, but i already knew that. I had a customer yesterday (at the bank) who wanted to deposit 2 chqs into his account, one for $700.00 and one for $1,000.00. he gave me the chqs and at first glance i could tell that something was wrong with them. and then i noticed a little note on his account that said that we had already had a chq come back as counterfeight from him, so this my the hairs on the back of my neck stand up even more. so i went to my supervisor and got her to take a look and she thought that it was fishey (and the guy could tell us ABSOLUTLEY nothing about where they came form, what a bonehead) so shirley (my supervisor) told the guy that we would have to do some investigating into the origion of the chqs. so anyways coporate security got back to us today and they were BOTH COUNTERFEIT...this guy isn't that bright (if he's making them himself or just doing some shady things)...anyways that was fun to deal with. but enough boring stuff i just thought i'd do a little update (even though i think the only person who reads this is samara, and i get to see her this weekend!!) VERY EXCITED about that!!! so i'm gonna go, cuz my brain is leaking through my ears (not really, yuck)
what a weekend!!
Boy do i ever love seeing my mom!!! She and Perry came down for the weekend. It was quite funny when they got here though. I went down to help them up with their luggage only to discover that perry had neglected to actually put their luggage in the truck!!! It was very amusing (for me that is, they seemed miffed, but only for a few minutes) and then we went to see Sarah Maclachlan. OH MY GOODNESS, she is so fantastic, i could have watched her for several more hours!! And then we car shopped all day sat and went to costco sunday!! Oh yeah and on friday night we went to one of the local country bars and watched mom and perry dance (they were the best on the floor!!) and watched matt try to fight about 3 (or 4) guys (he was quite inebriated ) so now i'm tired!!
ciao
what a day!!!
boy did i ever have an unfortunate set of events yesterday. I was a work (at the bank) and I couldn't concentrate on anything and the result was this:
- a slammed finger in the cash drawer
- a cut on the finger
-an accident where I punched the counter (and it wasn't on purpose)
- and as I was walking home I tripped and ripped my pants and cut both my knees and twisted my ankle......
Yup that was my day, so needless to say that when I got home i sat on the couch and stayed away from knives, cuz the way my day was going I probably would have cut a toe off or something....
WHEEEEE DOGGY!!!
Boy, did my weekend ever start frusturatingly (?). I went to work on friday morning (at the bank) not wanting to be there at all, because my brother and sister-in-law were visiting. But I told my boss this and she said that I will be able to leave early to go and hang out. But then one of the other branches got robbed (at gun point....how scary would that be.....oh never mind, our video store has been robbed at gun point and it SUCKED...) so anyways the branch closed and all of their customers came to our branch and we were SO BUSY!! i worked 6 1/2 hours with only a fifteen minute break to wolf down a penut butter bender. So i work my a$$ off all day and at 3:30 my boss says that I can cash out and leave half an hour early...which was really nice. But then I am heading out to my dads, which is about 25 min out of kelowna and my stupid van over heats....grrrrrrr.....it was quite an afternoon. but then I got to my dads and I gave my big brother a hug and all was right again... you never know how much you've missed someone until you see them. So we had a nice weekend and then on saturday night my fabulous cousin samara and the glorious Tara came to spend the night on their way back to victoria. They are looking so very beautiful!!! It was a fun, family filled weekend.
a beautiful sunny day
I love waking up in the morning and seeing bleu sky, it makes me smile. My days usually seem to go up hill from there (at least lately). I've been feeling pretty positive latley (and here's to not jinxing it) and it feels like I finally know that there are options for me. Maybe not right now beacause I am needed in Kelowna right now, and it actualy feels good to feel needed. I'm working on feeling more positive about myself and my life and, oddly enough, bananas are supposed to help with feeling more positive. They have some sort of natural chemical (or something) with eventually leads to higher levels of seratonin ( which is the chemical in your brain that makes you happy) or so i've been told. But I haven't actually been eating any bananas, but i sure will now.
Sometimes I feel like I have to constently remind myself that this is my life FOR NOW, things change and I can do the things that I want to do, I'm still young, and I have so much time to do the things that I want.. Ya I realise that I am repeating myself, but I'm just drilling it into my brain.
I have explored so many things that I might like to do, or things that I used to dream about when I was kid. Like being an actress (i know, every kid dreams about being famous) but I don't actually want to be "famous" that would drive me nuts, but I would love to act....i just wish I wasn't so darn shy (ish).... man I seem to be contradicting myself left, right and center... ahem...... :) or maybe being a emergency care worker (going over seas and helping out with things like the tsunami disaster) but I'm not sure I could actually handle all that sadness, but I like the idea of new hope and helping where I can....now I'm being cheesy....
anyways, i'm not sure where I was going with this, maybe I'll be able to pick it up next time...
"Goodnight sweet prince" (i have no idea what that is from, but it just popped into my head)
